In Real Life: Loving Social Networking and Love on Social Networks

“Its Just Twitter”

“Social network” websites were created as communities. Originally designed to connect friends, and family. These sites expanded over the years to develop into grounds to maximize on marketing a product or service, and have become the founding fathers for dating websites and constant sources of status updates to thousands of anonymous viewers at once. Hence, with the wrong intentions, these peaceful communities can easily lead to a safe haven for infidelity, stalkers, and pedophiles. There is no real governing protocol guaranteeing the intentions (or even the identity) of the person on the other side of the screen.

There are many social networks, like Myspace, Twitter, Facebook, etc., all made to keep people connected and typically end up with us sharing personal details of our everyday lives. However this amidst this addiction, people often may use these networks to actually have affairs in the guise of simple “friendship,”. Best part about it, people can stop, pause, leave, and literally go get a snack, go pee, then log back into the relationship. No wonder these methods of communication are now seemingly more important than actual real life methods of interaction.

How many times have you heard people downplay their indulgence in the cyber world by saying “its just twitter?” All the while they share their most intimate secrets, sexual desires, everyday adventures, political beliefs, religious views, subliminal online “beefs”, and just about everything you would need to know to learn about who they are. Many times people find it easier to express themselves behind their computer screens more expressively than they would be able to in the uncomfortably intimate setting of an actual face to face conversation. Hmmph.

Change Your Relationship “Status”

Many people can testify that some of the most influential, positive, and important relationships with people that affect their lives daily were established online, a large percentage of those derive from social network websites. There is definitely an attraction to be drawn from wanting to match the face in the picture and the mind behind the text with someone you can relate to in person. How would this alter a real life relationship? There are tons of stories from which people say, “Myspace, Facebook destroys relationships.” In these cases many committed people declare excessive internet interaction as “part of the game,” a fantasy that can be controlled and any social network partner and just that, denying any intention of pursuit offline.

It does seem highly unlikely that a person would devote the majority of his/her waking hours to something that is simply “a game.” What topics did you discuss today? What did you read? What did you learn? What images did you view? How many songs did you listen to? Which pop culture and social events did you check into?
How much of these things were done through a social network? We are additcted. We LOVE social networks. They control our daily lives. Sad but true.

The common thread among these denied E-love stories is that people get deeply involved in online relationships and make intertwined decisions about their real lives. Calling any of these online relationships “fantasy” dismisses the impact they have on the people involved and on those closest to them and is often a pass to twart any negative repercussions.

Example, how often do people things in the heat of the moment that might not have happened if they stepped back and thought about it their actions? Online environments can extend that “heat of the moment” feeling and thought process over longer periods of time in a way that physical environments can not. Not to mention how people end up doing stupid things, like completely ignoring our other relationships to spend time with our online lovers, getting caught having IM sex at work and get fired, invading privacy by cyber stalking our mates’ online conversations, getting mad at our real life relationships and changing our online relationship statuses, and the list of stupid acts goes on and on and on.

Is it possible that we’re so desperate to pretend it’s all fantasy online, so that we can make the hard, painful, life-crushing parts of regular relationships minimal?

People who spend countless hours online have no logical right to say “its just twitter”, unless of course that is not you posting those tweets. And if thats the case you have an even more SERIOUS problem.

And for that topic, please read Fakes on the Internet: The Epidemic

Inspired by this CNN article: Facebook a Tool for Cheating Spouse

Wife cheats on husband through Facebook