Friday, January 30, 2015

White Woman writes on why Black men Date Interracially

April 28, 2010 by  
Filed under Lifestyle, Pay Attention

20 year old Caucasian woman sent this letter to Sister 2 Sister magazine requesting a response. PLEASE READ

Dear Jamie:
I’m sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers.  I am a White female who is engaged to a good looking, educated and loving Black man. I just don’t understand a lot of Black females attitudes about our relationship.

My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none.   As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage.

Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world.  If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don’t they look at themselves and make some changes. I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we’re out in public.  I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them.

Bryant Gumbel left his wife of 26 years for one of us. Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes….  I could go on and on. But, right now, I’m a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don’t be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us.  Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I’m wrong, Black men, let me know.

Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA

Dear Jamie: I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl.

Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful Black men.

I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why Black men date white women.

Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered easy.  The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle.  So, they turned to the white girls.

Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of Black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our Black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses.  Because of this fear, many Black men look for a more docile woman.  Someone we can control.  I have talked to numerous Black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control & walk over their white women.

I just want to set the record straight.  I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful Black men date white women..  Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth ‘Babyface’ Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong Black women.  And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie and Robin Thicke, to name a few.

I just don’t want a disgusted white girl to be informed. Stop thinking that because you are 20 and white,  you are some type of goddess.  Remember, when Black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your history!

It was the Black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food.  It was the Black woman

that taught you how to raise your children.  It was Black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery.  It is the Black woman

that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Black women were born with two strikes against them; being Black and being a woman.  And, through all this, Still They Rise!

It is because of the Black women’s strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my Black Queen. It is not  just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them..  that I find most appealing about Black women..  Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women.

I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks.  If this were not so, then why do you continuously  go to tanning salons to darken your skin?  If you are so proud to be white, then why don’t you just be happy with your pale skin?   Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous like Black women?

Good Morning!  I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has.   BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife  and mother to my children. Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill.  No offense taken, none given.

Signed, Black Royalty

Authors comments (100):
I honestly feel we should blind the color lines. Every race, every gender, every individual has their own flaws, hangups, baggage, and imperfections. To generalize anyone based on a similarity as dense as the color of their skin and/or neighborhood is far more trivial than the flaws you acknowledge them of having. Why whenever people down talk on what they see in others they never follow their comments with issues within themselves? Beauty comes in all shapes colors and sizes because it derives from WITHIN.

that is all




10 Responses to “White Woman writes on why Black men Date Interracially”
  1. avatar Da Real Nubian says:

    This brother, Black Royalty, truly is enlightened! He could not have said it better. Our Creator has allowed us to make our own decisions on this journey called life. However, it does not make all the decisions we make correct. Black men need to realize who caucazoid women are before they start placing them on the same throne as Black womb-man. Find out why they came from the caves of Europe. Find out why they have only been here no more than 6,000 years compared to our millions of years. I will be glad when our people realize our-story instead of his-story (especially our Black men). Find out who were the original White (legal status) people.

  2. avatar Just Teresa says:

    I just came across this story by mistake but was rather shocked and amazed by both the white woman as well as the black man. First of all I would like it to be known that I am a white woman and let’s get one thing straight black men may walk over white women but they walk all over black women as well. Therefore leading me to believe that it has nothing to do with the color of your skin but it has all to do with what kind of men you are with. There are many “White” men that date “Black” women and vise versa so who cares. Why does everyone make such an issue about race? Personally I feel like if GOD wanted everyone to be with the same race then we would all be the same race. There is a reason there are so many different people here on earth. Maybe the reason is way bigger than any of the narrow minded people can see.

  3. avatar cwell510 says:

    I believe the original poster was trying to express the fact that most black women are upset with the fact that she is dating a black man and receives dirty looks and off hand comments by black women and is rightfully tired of it. The gentleman that commented on her and started insulting her afterwards was out of line. There’s no dispute that black women aren’t strong at all, history has proven that. Speaking of history, he should brush up on his when he says that Europeans lived in caves and ate meat while beating each other over the head. Obviously that never happened or they wouldn’t have had the fore thought of conquering the modern day world.

  4. avatar Shelton says:

    “Da real nubian”…. I’d like to consider myself a pretty well educated “brother”. So, it is really embarrassing to read such idiocy from my own people. PLEASE DELETE YOUR POST! Get YOUR history straight. There is nothin factual about your statement. I really hope that you haven’t said any of this in public……WOW!

  5. avatar ConcernedWomanofGod says:

    Well, I have to say, I accidentally stumbled upon this and am amazed at what I am reading! I cant leave this page without commenting…I will start by saying that I am a 23 year old biracial woman; for most of my life I have also wondered WHY everyone is so caught up with this topic. My mother is a STRONG WHITE WOMAN who has raised my sister and I despite these odds. I will admit, I have seen the looks and heard the comments my whole life but they come from all over. Lets face it; people have insecurities! I wont say that its only black women, or white women, its the entire human race… However its sad to think that we allow OTHERS’ insecurities to generate our own set of irrational beliefs. When we focus on the negative things that other people think, we are fostering negative feelings within ourselves; allowing even total strangers to manipulate our emotions. I will not say that all white women are like my mother… but neither are all black, brown or otherwise. A person’s character is not fashioned around the colour of their skin. The skin is only the packaging…Whether your preference is white people, black people, or PINK AND GREEN STRIPED PEOPLE… there is always going to be someone on the outside looking in to criticize. Dont take it on… focus on the positives! Whoever is there to support you, and love you regardless – those are the people you should pay more attention to… and leave the negativity to the ones who have nothing better to focus on! Live and be happy…Love God, and dont allow people to steal your joy!



  6. avatar Toni says:

    Hmmm i think that black men are just plain sexy… Know one has the right to speak for anyone else we all have our own minds dont we ???? Toni white Girl.

  7. avatar Um..No... says:

    cwell510 says:
    July 9, 2010 at 5:12 pm

    “I believe the original poster was trying to express the fact that most black women are upset with the fact that she is dating a black man and receives dirty looks and off hand comments by black women and is rightfully tired of it. The gentleman that commented on her and started insulting her afterwards was out of line. There’s no dispute that black women aren’t strong at all, history has proven that. Speaking of history, he should brush up on his when he says that Europeans lived in caves and ate meat while beating each other over the head. Obviously that never happened or they wouldn’t have had the fore thought of conquering the modern day world.”

    Umm…actually…It did happen…White men did live in caves…AT ONE POINT IN TIME…You are right in the sense that it wasn’t during the time when egypt was all powerful, it was before that. But the white man was living in caves eatin’ raw meat at one point in time. And the white man did not conquer the modern day world without the help of guns, by which THE CHINESE INVENTED. Hmm…No wonder china is kicking all our asses right now…You my friend, are fucking stupid. A complete idiot, whitey couldn’t do shit until gunpowder came their way from Asia. And statistically speaking. Black people do have a higher survival rate than most other races and its not due to the skin color. Its just genetics. Okay wait…that came out wrong…hmm..I has nothing to do with the fact that we’re black its just that they’ve been around the longest. So they’ve “evolved” for a longer time. As time goes on mother nature tends to make more complex species. In Precambrian times there were no animals with bones. It was mostly simple species like protozoa, some jellyfish and sea pens. And then came the segmented animals, then the bony fish, and so on and so forth. And look at jellyfish today! They THRIVE in these heating oceans! And they’ve been around for more than 600 million years!!! So black people have just had more time to become strong. All of this “we are white and we conquer” is bullshit because that kind of power is fake. They just feel powerful because they happened to drive more people off foreign lands. So of course the author here would make snotty remarks such as “look in theirselves and change”. Listen, people can’t just change. They are the way they are. You have those luxuries because white people have had an advantage, but they often and on accident expect everyone to be able to do the same thing. Just like the french revolution. When the royal family is being told their people are starving the family says “Let them eat cake!” because they’ve never been disadvantaged, they’re blind, they dont even notice the famine’s existance. Same thing here. But again. Skin color doesn’t play a role here. Its a cultural thing that can’t be avoided. So just like mettaworldpeace (ron artest) says. Grab a snickers!

  8. avatar Um..No... says:

    P.S. ima sexy french guy who looks north african >:p

  9. avatar ohhSOOlovely says:

    I agree with the fact that the white woman in the post is just expressing the fact that she does not appreciate being judged by Black women and receiving looks from them because of the fact that she is engaged to a Black man. This is something that she must get used to as a white woman with a Black man; it comes with the territory. I think that when Black women see their Black men with white, asian, mexican, whatever women they feel as though they are not good enough for Black men. As our history shows, Black women are the most oppressed and looked down upon group of people and over time we have seen a divide between us and our Black men. As time goes on more and more often do Black men choose women of other ethnicities over us and this can be very discouraging. I am not playing devils advocate for the Black women who throw her the snooty looks, but I am just explaining it from the point of view of a Black woman. I cannot explain why more and more Black men choose white women over us but i do know that there are tons of Black men out there who love them some chocolate! People will date who they choose to date and as a Black woman i find no need in throwing snooty looks at the white women who date Black men and vice versa; i just know that there are Black men who love our curves and our beautiful brown skin and I always find them! If those Black men want to date white women then let them; some of my Black male friends who date white women say it is because they are easier and the LUST after them, and then other Black male friends of mine just prefer white women. The same way we all have our preferences, some Black men just prefer white women. My best friend is a very pretty Romanian woman; she is strong minded and will never let any man walk all over her. When we go out some Black men flock to her but they also flock to me with my milk chocolate colored skin. Its all preference! Some say its a form of self loathing when Black men cannot find the beauty in the Black women who look like their mothers, grandmothers, aunties, etc., but whatever it is, there are plenty of sexy Black men who love them some sexy Black women!!!

  10. avatar Kevin says:

    Experience affects people’s perceptions immensely. Consider this example: I am an educated (med school grad) black male who grew up in the inner city (about 5 miles west of NYC).As a teenager and throughout my early college years it appeared as if black women always let me down in a very vitriolic manner when I approached them (nervously and very shyly, but never disrespectfully). Over time I just realized that it was part of the “game”. But still it never made any sense to me why, for the most part, women of other races were generally more kind in their rebukes, whereas SOME black women felt the need to be nasty. I never gave up faith on black women, and now (at age 26) I feel like I understand them a lot more, and have realized that they are women, just like any other woman on earth, however some have not learned how to speak to men in a cordial manner when they are not sexually interested. I would also say that some of them have “unreal” expectations for Mr. Right (which is okay), and find themselves not trying to “go out of the box”, if you will, to date a man (whether he is black or white) that does not fit their “prototype”. As a result, many of them complain of not finding professional black men to date, but dozens of my black friends and I (all professionals: doctors, lawyers, engineers,Ivy league grads…you name it- from various socioeconomic backgrounds) would attest to the “fact” that sometimes approaching these women is like playing Russian Roulette, because you never know whether or not you are going to be greeted with a nasty attitude. This is why it pains me to see several scholarly articles over the past few years (including a notorious NY Times editorial) claiming that there are not enough “good” (educated/professional) black men. They are out there! We ALL have to realize that it takes two to tango, so black women and black men both need to reevaluate our respect for ourselves and the way that we approach and speak to each other. I do not see any feasible reason why a woman should be upset when a man approaches in an amenable, gentleman-like manner. I mean, we are men, right. The last time I checked our urges for sex and companionship are natural and normal, so it only makes sense that we would be attracted to you. Yes, some black men (namely the uneducated ones from the bad/inner city neighborhoods) are very disrespectful in their approach. Heck, some even go as far as to touch a woman they do not even know in an attempt to court her. But that is not all. And another shocking trend that I have noticed is that a lot of educated black women appear to go for the uneducated black man. Many of my female black cohorts have explained that most of these men have more charisma, confidence, and “swag” than the educated black man. Most of these same women complain that they cannot find marriageable black men, and tend to judge the educated black men based on their observations of the non-educated black men. If you date trash, you will end up getting trash results. You also have to understand that the attraction to the uneducated black man may be connected to the lust for the “bad boy”. These same women fail to consider that we (educated black men) have seen the negative effects of the “bad boy”/”hood” black culture. Heck, some of us even grew up in those same neighborhoods, and are just as “tough”. We just made wiser decisions. In closing I’d say this: society is more and more accepting of interracial couples. Although, I have continued to court black women and seek out those opportunities, there are many other professional black men (some of whom I know and have had extensive convos with) who are no longer willing to try to court black women, and instead choose to date outside of their race. Their usual motivation is that they “cannot deal with the bitch-like attitude”. I usually try to tell them that it is not “ALL” black women who act this way, but apparently ENOUGH do, so it imposes a negative coloring on all black women, and most important of all, it destroys many excellent possibilities for black love. So if you are a black man, and you are reading this, think about the pick-up lines that you use, and the way you approach black women (and all women period). And if you are a black woman who is interested in dating black men, think about the energy that you put out there, and what you can do to assuage the situation. It shouldn’t be this hard folks!

    Sorry for the long post. I just wanted to be very thorough. And I apologize if I offended anyone, in any way, shape, or form. These comments reflect my views, opinions, and experiences, and are not necessarily representative of the opinions of black men throughout the world.

    Peace & Love,

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